It's Thursday. Think before your speak.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.Psalm 19:14

Ever since I have been able to form words, my tongue has gotten me in more trouble than I care to think about. My mother says that I was never satisfied until I had the last word.  I was never deterred by the punishment that was sure to follow. (I had one of those mothers who was very skilled at the backhand smack across the mouth). My satisfaction was always in saying what I had to say. Timing nor tempering was not my strong suit.  Whatever came up, came out.

Before I was born again, I took delight in skillfully training my tongue to be a very quick, sharp and lethal weapon. I collected an arsenal of magnanimous words with the intention of verbally bullying anyone from ants to giants, oftentimes leaving them mentally discombobulated not knowing if they had been insulted or complimented.

Little did I know back then that God could or would use my tongue for His purpose. I wish I could say that it happened immediately when I accepted Jesus into my heart. Sadly, this was not the case. I went from being a heathen verbal bully to a Christian one.  Along with other words that I had learned along the way, I now included Scripture to my arsenal. Not the merciful and loving ones.  No, they did not carry the kind of power punch that I needed to wield at those who were not walking in godliness.  I needed scriptures that would remind them of the punishment that awaited them if they did not get it together.

I look back at those days and am amazed that God did not push the mute button on my vocal chords.  Instead, He removed the scales from my eyes.  He allowed me to see how the words of my mouth reflected what was in my heart.  I was lacking love and compassion for those who needed God's word the most. I was judgemental by my own standards. Sure, I was saying a lot Scripture and praying a lot, but it was not acceptable in the sight of my Lord. My intentions had not changed.

I don't know about you, but whenever God exposes a hidden sinful part of "me" to me, I am just amused.  Not in a joking type way.  Amused when I discover the fool that I have made of myself thinking that I am so righteous. Of course, this is followed by deep remorse and repentance and humility.

I can tell you that even though I may always have this battle with my tongue, I am learning more and more how to control it with God's help. I do think more often before I speak. My intention is ALWAYS to help and not to harm even when those intentions get misinterpreted.  And trust me, they do.  I thought I had come a long way until the other day when I was talking to one of my daughters.  I mentioned that I try not to offend anyone at all when I talk now and she said, "Really?" It was the kind of "really" that says, "I wouldn't have noticed had you not said something."  And then I said, "Really?", which was the kind of "really" that made me think.  It even made me laugh. And yes, you know what I did next.  I repented and I cried out to God Psalm 19:14..."Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer."

Pastor K.